Saturday, December 12, 2009

What is Honor?, 7

Continued from "What is Honor?, 6"

So far in this discussion, I have worked on the assumption that insults to your honor (i.e., reputation or integrity) have come from one particular confrontational type: the big deal.

I have also noted that the best and safest course of action is to remove yourself from the scene. If retreat is impossible, I suggest you keep in mind the confrontational types and how to respond to each.

Remember that the most desirable response to personal violence is complete avoidance, if possible. If you cannot avoid it, then you can choose the level of force appropriate to the situation.

Moving on, Warrior has raised the question about defending a lady's honor. And, indeed, the ideals of the Age of Romanticism require a gentleman to defend the virtue of a lady.

But Romanticism is not a philosophy based on Scripture. Further, it places womanhood in an unbiblical perspective as beautiful but physically and psychologically helpless, frail and incapable of rigorous labor or logic.

These things are simply not so, and the defense of Romantic notions of womanhood by evangelicaldom have fueled the fires of militant feminism. The Biblical role of women, while different from that of men, requires great courage, strength and endurance (Think of Esther or Jael). Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and see the wisdom, intelligence and character of the woman portrayed there.

(Yes, the Apostle Peter did say that husbands should give honor to wives "as to the weaker vessel" [I Peter 3:7]. The physical constitution of the average man is stronger than that of the average woman. The physical constitution of women also makes them vulnerable in ways that men normally are not. Men need to honor those differences -- do the heavy lifting & physically protect women if and when necessary.)

The issue of honor, therefore, is exactly the same for a woman as it is for a man. An insult cannot touch her virtuous character, and although a good reputation has value, it remains highly doubtful that insults from street scum will harm her good name.

The street punk who tries to goad you into a fight has some invisible asset: weapon and/or friends. To accept his invitation to mayhem puts you in grave danger.

The addition of a woman to the equation only serves to complicate the tactical problems. The best chance for her safety (and yours!) lies in retreat.

If you have in your company a lady who embraces the Romantic notion that you have an obligation to fight for her honor, you need to realize that she values her pride above your safety or even your life. Unless you have the hard providence of being married to her, you need to let her find another companion and "protector".

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. (Pro 19:11)

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. (Pro 11:22)

1 comment:

The Warrior said...

Thank you for your thoughts. I always appreciate your well-outlined arguments.

Moving on, perhaps I was obscure or slightly unclear as I also did mean to bring up the discussion of sexual issues. (I assume you'd apply this post here to verbal sexual harassment against women?)

Often called "cop a feel", you can pretty much sum it up as any male physically touching a woman in a sexual area.

So, if a guy walked by and slapped a man's wife on the butt, what would you advise the man to do?

I apologize for "harping" here. Just trying to bring up questions that might not otherwise be raised.