Continued from "Confrontational Types, 2"
Our third confrontational type is the big deal. This one is ego-driven. He thinks he's a big deal because he can dominate others.
Bullies fall into this category, but I think the description also fits gang members who beat or kill others for street cred.
When I was in 7th grade, I became the target of some big deals. For lack of a better strategy, my parents told me, "Just stand up to them, and they'll leave you alone." This does not work with the big deal, because his arrogance and his status grow out of his ability to fight, so he will welcome the challenge.
Unlike the raging bull, it does not work to offer to give the big deal what he says he wants. If you do, he will escalate his demands, because what he really wants is to inflict physical pain and/or humiliation on you.
The best thing to do about a big deal is to avoid him. A group of arrogant young males loitering on the street may well be big deals, and you should turn around or cross the street to avoid them. That's for a one-time encounter.
If the big deal knows you or sees you frequently, however, this strategy may cause him to conclude that you are afraid and lead him to seek you out. Eventually, you will have to decide whether to submit or to fight. It's not a good choice, especially if he has friends with him -- they will readily join in on his side.
To have any chance, you must draw the verbal line, as described in "Confrontational Types, 2" and strike preemptively. If he has friends, you have maybe a second or so to neutralize him before you take on his backup. You must therefore send him to the pavement without hesitation and without misgiving.
Two key mindset principles in dealing with a big deal are surprise and ruthlessness (See Principles of Personal Defense by Jeff Cooper).
Continued in Confromtational Types 4
Fighting is dangerous and carries the possibilities of injury to yourself or others, and can lead to criminal prosecution or civil liability. Since each individual and each threat is different, nothing in this article should be construed as specific advice for your situation. The decision to fight is yours and yours alone, and the author accepts no liability for the consequences, should you decide to do so.
Our third confrontational type is the big deal. This one is ego-driven. He thinks he's a big deal because he can dominate others.
Bullies fall into this category, but I think the description also fits gang members who beat or kill others for street cred.
When I was in 7th grade, I became the target of some big deals. For lack of a better strategy, my parents told me, "Just stand up to them, and they'll leave you alone." This does not work with the big deal, because his arrogance and his status grow out of his ability to fight, so he will welcome the challenge.
Unlike the raging bull, it does not work to offer to give the big deal what he says he wants. If you do, he will escalate his demands, because what he really wants is to inflict physical pain and/or humiliation on you.
The best thing to do about a big deal is to avoid him. A group of arrogant young males loitering on the street may well be big deals, and you should turn around or cross the street to avoid them. That's for a one-time encounter.
If the big deal knows you or sees you frequently, however, this strategy may cause him to conclude that you are afraid and lead him to seek you out. Eventually, you will have to decide whether to submit or to fight. It's not a good choice, especially if he has friends with him -- they will readily join in on his side.
To have any chance, you must draw the verbal line, as described in "Confrontational Types, 2" and strike preemptively. If he has friends, you have maybe a second or so to neutralize him before you take on his backup. You must therefore send him to the pavement without hesitation and without misgiving.
Two key mindset principles in dealing with a big deal are surprise and ruthlessness (See Principles of Personal Defense by Jeff Cooper).
Continued in Confromtational Types 4
Fighting is dangerous and carries the possibilities of injury to yourself or others, and can lead to criminal prosecution or civil liability. Since each individual and each threat is different, nothing in this article should be construed as specific advice for your situation. The decision to fight is yours and yours alone, and the author accepts no liability for the consequences, should you decide to do so.
3 comments:
AHA! Here we go! I've been trying to figure out where my stories fit in, and here it is! I've known several "big deals" of varying degrees. I almost tangled with a few, but was able to get out of it. Weaseling out of things can work if you have no reason to fight. At one point though I almost did get in a fight because I felt quite seriously provoked at the time and had had quite enough (he sort of retreated).
LONG stories there.
THANK YOU for posting this one. Does it sound strange that I'm happy I can fit my experiences in somewhere?
Spencer
I'm glad we found your "niche" :-)
Watch for the "Bantam Rooster", because, if you've run into a lot of big deals, you've probably run into some of these as well -- perhaps without even knowing it.
Bantam Rooster? I'll wait to see what that one entails. Looking forward to it!
Spencer
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