Confrontational Types, 2

Continued from "Confrontational Types"

The raging bull differs from the true orc in that he's angry and is not likely to sidestep a fight. He will not back down at direct eye contact, and he will likely take it as a challenge.

The raging bull may be a guy who has chronic anger issues, or he may be the peaceful, quiet guy who has just had the last straw and snapped. Either way, something triggered his anger, and he's looking for satisfaction.

Most courses that teach you how to defuse (not diffuse, please!) potentially violent confrontations are aimed at raging bull types. The methods you learn will work with one of them, AS LONG AS he does not feel you're patronizing or manipulating him. That will only fuel his anger.

(Hint: Most of the techniques you learn in managing confrontations will not work against the other confrontational types.)

A major factor in opening dialogue with an angry person is empathy. "If what just happened to you had happened to me, I'd be furious."

One sure way to get a true raging bull to calm down is to give him what he wants. Your apology? Your table at the restaurant? Your parking space? None of these is worth fighting over, so if you can do so without violating Biblical ethics, let have what he wants so you can get on with your life.

If you cannot legitimately placate him, you need to draw a line. In the non-threatening defensive stance say, "I cannot give you what you ask. Is there any other way I can get out of this without a fight?"

If he says, "No," then the fight has begun -- neutralize the threat. Or he may say nothing and swing at you -- be ready.

Continued in "Confrontational Types, 3"