Monday, August 11, 2008

Sheepdog Strategies, 6

Continued from "Sheepdog Strategies, 5"

Women . . . or, let me say many women (not necessarily all or even most) . . . many women feel vulnerable, but they do not want to be told that they are vulnerable. So, then what do they need? How about Spiderman?

Exactly! A woman needs to know that whenever she's in trouble, her man will swoop in on a strand of spider web and rescue her. Just as Spiderman always rescues Mary Jane.

Wrong. That's what guys would like to think that most women want. Actually, the guy who thinks he's tough enough and skilled enough to fight off an army of villains probably provokes more fear than comfort in his womenfolk.

A lot of women see macho posturing as the cause of much violence, not the solution. And to a certain degree, they're right. Women tend to suffer violence from unprovoked assaults. Men ginerally suffer from violent confrontations because they've been goaded into fights.

Let's apply this:

Here's Wannabe-Man (a legend in his own mind) walking down a not-so-well-traveled street with his girl. They're going to a concert of Baroque chamber music. And there are three seedy looking guys loitering at the corner, up ahead.

Girl says, "Let's go back and take Main Street to the concert hall.

W-Man replies, "Nah, this is shorter. Don't let those guys bother you. I can handle 'em." W-Man ignores her insistent pleas, they make it past the loiterers, and the couple have a time of silence.

He's thinking, "I guess now she knows that she's always safe with me. What a hero I am"

She's thinking, "I can't believe he put us both in danger like that. What a jerk he is."

Then W-man just can't understand why she doesn't listen to him -- the expert -- when it comes to personal security and safety.

Sheepdogs are always ready to battle the wolves. But they don't herd the sheep through a wolf pack just to prove the point.

How about you, gentle reader? If you're like most males, there lurks at least a little bit of Wannabe-Man in your soul. It's a parody and a perversion of the calling to be a sheepdog, and if you're smart, you'll apply yourself to its extirpation from your inner man.

A major change of attitude may go a long way toward getting your womenfolk to pay attention to what you're saying. But we're not done, here. Not yet.

4 comments:

james3v1 said...

When I read this I thought about the one video we watched at your house (self-defense vid) where the guy and girl are in the park and an assailant comes up and they clearly should have run away and the guy gets all macho and gets stabbed and his girlfriend gets robbed (screaming instead of flight).

Good advice to the W-man.

The Black Knight said...

Good post.

Just because your calling is to prepare for a fight does not mean you have to go looking for one.

Dr. Paleo Ph.D. said...

Then W-man just can't understand why she doesn't listen to him -- the expert -- when it comes to personal security and safety.

Ooh...that hit home. :-( I confess I've felt like that, and do often.

I don't see myself as an expert perse, I guess it's just that no one else is going to take care of them for me, so I feel like I need to do it, and need to help them get prepared.

*waits for next post*

Spencer

Stephen Boyd said...

The idea of not going looking for a fight is definitly something we can learn from the ladies and a good basis for learning to defend oneself that they already have.

BTW, thanks for linking to me, Gravelbelly!