Tuesday, January 12, 2010

What is Honor?, 8

Continued from "What is Honor?, 7"

Warrior has asked the question,

So, if a guy walked by and slapped a man's wife on the butt, what would you advise the man to do?

I have to say that I would advise him to react according to the context of the act. I have not discussed social context much here, but it actually should factor into how you react to any and every kind of challenge.

For example, if you grab the chair your best friend normally uses just for fun, you don't expect anyone to wind up in the E.R. over a joke between you. If you're in a strange roadside diner, however, and a rough-looking biker says, "You're in my seat," you have a completely different set of concerns to deal with.

In the same way, if you're at a party with your wife or lady friend and your Uncle Max (who has been hitting the punch bowl pretty hard) pats her bottom, you will likely take Uncle Max firmly by the arm and steer him in another direction.

Randall Gerard related (comment on "What is Honor?, 2) another kind of situation -- one that actually involved his son's wife, whose co-worker sexually harassed her. In this situation, a calm yet pointed verbal warning resolved the problem.

This is an example of that kind of man who thinks that any unaccompanied female is a potential target for his seductive charm. Usually, a woman willing to speak frankly can put a jerk like this in his place, but sometimes he needs to see that she is not as alone and unprotected as he thought. That's where a conversation with a husband, father or brother can work wonders.

A third kind of situation involves the violent predator. His physical contact with your lady friend expresses his contempt for you and for her. It is a statement that he has total power over you, that he can do whatever he wants, and you're powerless to stop him.

In this situation, you must remember that unwanted physical contact constitutes simple assault. In other words, the physical attack has already begun.

In any physical assault, your first and best strategy is to escape. Your fallback position is to neutralize the threat to a point that allows you to escape.

The three situations I've mentioned pretty well cover the gamut of situations in which your wife/sister/daughter may find herself harassed. You will need to exercise discernment as to how to react.

You may verbally "defend the honor" of your lady companion in the first two situations. Here, some familiarity with the techniques of Verbal Judo (see "The Best Self Defense System, 4" for my review) will help you. You must be very careful about verbal exchanges with the violent predator, however.

In every case, you should not resort to violence unless you absolutely cannot avoid it.

Disclaimer: This post reflects my personal opinion and does not constitute legal advice. For counsel concerning lawful responses to harassment and assault in your locale, consult a licensed attorney.

1 comment:

The Warrior said...

Thank you for the post. Sorry to sort of hijack your blog with my questions....

First and foremost, I want to state that my opinion is just that and that I do not at all advance it as "gospel truth" or anything even close to that.

That said, I...somewhat disagree. At least for me, I simply don't think I could abide anything else. If any male were to touch a woman in my care, whether it be butt, breast, or anything else, something in me tells me that things would likely get physical.

I suppose, in my eyes, since he got physical first and crossed a boundary that no one near Spencer should ever, ever cross, it, for once, slightly changes the "rules of engagement".

This is clearly something I've thought long and hard on. Do I just love my womenfolk that much, and hate the slimeballs that much as well? Perhaps. But I just can't shake this from me, even looking over everything again through this series of yours. If I did not act in a physical manner, I do believe I would feel horrific guilt.

Either way, they should make it easy on themselves and not let me catch them do it. Ever.