Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Speech You Will Not Hear from a Candidate in 2012

Although the next national election is over a year away, potential candidates are jockeying for position as pollsters and pundits make their projections. So, I will step outside the normal parameters of WARSKYL to comment on the political status quo -- Latin for the mess we are in.

A roundup of the usual suspects, er candidates, will include the usual sprinkling of those who profess evangelical faith. Since the media will either dismiss or calumniate them, politically conservative evangelicals will tend to close ranks behind them and vote for them.

Therefore, as a public service, I want to present to you the speech that you will not hear from any of the conservative evangelical candidates running for office in 2012.

My fellow Christian Americans, I come before you today a changed man. Since the last election, God has severely convicted me of how I have put political expediency above my loyalty to Jesus Christ. 

I have repented of that grievous sin, and I also ask you, my supporters to forgive me. Specifically, I ask you to forgive me for hedging my faith in the last election. 

Two years ago, I told you that I would go to Washington to support traditional Judaeo-Christian values. I used the term Judaeo-Christian in order to seem more inclusive . . . less offensive to those who did not share my faith in Jesus Christ.

Since then, one of my supporters has sat down with me in a study of Paul's Epistle to the Galatians, and I have learned that Judaeo-Christianity is a departure from the Christian faith. Therefore, during this campaign, I want everyone to understand my position regarding my faith.

First, let me declare that Jesus Christ is not only my Prophet, Priest and King, He is the rightful Ruler over this and all nations. If God sees fit to allow me to go to Washington, my first allegiance will be to Him. The political machine, special interests, and even the will of the people must take a back seat to the fact that I will use my office first and foremost to serve my Lord and Redeemer.

Second, as a corollary to my first point, let me say that I will weigh all legislation by the standard of God's Word, the Bible. The Constitution may be a great document, but Holy Scripture reveals the will of the Creator and Governor of the universe, and as such I will treat it for what it truly is, the Supreme Law of the land.

Finally, let me say that I fully believe that public welfare programs, whether for the rich, like the bank bailout, or the middle class, like public education or for the poor, like food stamps are all contrary to Scripture. I will vote against any bill that seeks to redistribute wealth in any way, shape or form.

My advisors tell me that if I stand on this platform, I will not be electable. Over the past several months, however, I have come to realize that when I one day stand before the Great Judge of all men, He will not be interested in how electable I was. He will be much more interested in how faithful I was.

If I am elected, I will serve my King. If I am defeated, then at least the electorate will have had a real choice -- one which they have, perhaps, not had for over 200 years. One for which God can and will hold them responsible.



The Warrior said...

I think I'd vote for this guy....

Gravelbelly said...

Thanks, but I'm not running.

The Warrior said...

You're not? Aww, shucks!