Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Lines in the Dirt, 3

See if you don't like the following scenario better than the previous one:


Your  hands are full, carrying shopping bags to your car at a location with one other person around. You see him from the corner of your eye,  and he has cut off the route of return to the safety of the crowd. Your  internal orc-alert is in full alarm. You decide that if it's a choice  between you or him, you're going to take him out.

You turn to face him.

"Those packages look heavy. Need . . . ?"

You interrupt him in mid-sentence: "LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Hey, take it easy. I'm offering to help." He grins as he continues toward you.

You  drop your shopping bags. Bring your hands up into the  non-challenging defensive position. "STOP! I SAID, 'LEAVE ME ALONE.'"

Dropping  your packages sends a message. Anyone who has a sincere desire to help will recognize that he has alarmed you, and you want him to go away.

It also  informs a predator that you will not be easy prey. Since you are  speaking in a loud voice, it also alerts anyone within earshot that  trouble may be brewing. As a bonus, it says to your more timid self that  your assertive side is taking over.

At this point, you have  drawn a line. It's not a literal line on the asphalt of the parking lot,  but a psychological line of words. At this point, anyone with good intentions is not going to cross that line. In this example,  though, Providence has not sent someone with good intentions.

"Oh,  look. You've dropped your packages. I can see you're one of those  paranoid people whose mother told them not to talk to strangers. I'll  help you pick up your stuff." He closes the distance.

You uncork  your fury and counterattack as though you are fighting for your life --  for you are. By ignoring your verbal warnings, he has crossed the line;  he has made his intentions known.

Even though you may strike the first  blow, his attack begins the moment he crosses the line. At that point,  the fight is on. 

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